Dear Aliza,
The super nice guy that I had been dating for 3 months broke up with me very suddenly. He said he just didn't think we had enough in common, even though things were going really well. I usually see breakups coming, but this one caught me by surprise. Any warning signs I should have looked for?

-oblivious

Dear Oblivious,

Because your inquiry was extremely complicated, I decided to consult the experts at such reliable websites such as www.knowtheredflags.com, www.improvingyourworld.com, and www.womansavers.com. I’ve taken the liberty of gleaning the most important warning signs and red flags from these sites and providing my interpretations for maximum understanding.

1. Actions and words that demonstrate a basic lack of respect which includes calling each other names, using sarcasm or demeaning each other in the name of humor—Under no circumstances is it ok to use sarcasm or humor in a relationship. If your partner uses any of these dating strategies, it’s a sign that the relationship is in trouble. For a quick fix, consider renting Schindler’s List or Life is Beautiful.

2. One partner constantly frames every compromise as a win-lose proposition.—e.g.World World II

3. Negatives Outweigh the Positives—if you find that your partner is insulting you, forgetting your birthday, refusing to meet your parents, telling you he never wants to marry you, buying presents for other women, and staying late at the office, these are examples of how negatives can potentially outweigh the positives.

4. Emotional Rollercoaster—If your relationship reminds you of the Tower of Terror or Space Mountain or a trip to Six Flags Great Adventure, it may be time to consider other options.

5. Changes in his appearance—if you find that your partner wears a fake nose/moustache when you go out together, this may be a red flag.

6. Dishonesty and frequent misunderstandings—while I can understand how somebody could be confused about this, it may not be 100% obvious for everyone. For example, perhaps you misunderstood that when I told you to “never contact me again” you thought I meant that you should send me drunk emails and texts.

7. Physical violence—if your partner is punching you out, this may be a tell-tale sign that your relationship is in trouble.

8. You hate each other.

I hope this helps.

Aliza